When You're Older, You Will Understand

I was around the age of five when my mother left my real dad. I actually can recall the day that we officially moved out. My mom was packing up my things and I can still his voice in the back ground telling her not to leave, but it was the final straw for her. We then left and moved into my mom's friend apartment. That was the last day that I spent more than an 12 hours around my dad.

I don't like calling him dad because a dad is someone who is there for you through the years, and he wasn't so i call him by his first name, Tracy. Tracy and my mom had been together for around 10 years before they divorced. As I had said before I was around five years old when they split up, and at first I didn't understand the reasons why but now I do. Tracy had got involved in drugs and other illegal activities that my mom did not want me growing up around. I can remember the nights that he had promised to come and get me for his visitation. One night I was outside of my mom's apartment playing basketball and waiting because Tracy said that he was going to be there in about a hour. Time slowly went by and it started getting dark and Tracy was no where to be found so that's when it started, his broken promises. As being the innocent child I was, I had made an excuse for him and just blew it off as if nothing happened and went on with my life. One day we went up to Texarkana, which is where my dad lives along with the rest of my mom's family, we had stopped by my nana's house and Tracy was there. I had decided that I was going to tell him how badly he hurt me as a kid for missing out of all the softball games, the cheerleading, and the small things that a dad is supposed to be there for. But as soon as I walked up to him nothing could come out, and it seemed that i had lost all of my words. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried and no matter how badly he had hurt me I just couldn't do the same to him. 

That day on the drive home it was then that I figured out that adults are going to let you down, and not all daddies are going to be the same.  Now that I am 19 years old, I look back and see that what he did and all the hurt and let downs that he caused me to have actually made me grow as an individual. Everyone as a kid knows that annoying expression, "when you're older you will understand" I have found out that it is fairly true. Although Tracy never was directly involved in my  life, God put him there to show me that I can get through anything he puts me through, so I am kinda thankful.    

My Dog King

It was early Christmas morning in the year of 1995 when I had received the gift of a lifetime. I remember walking into the living room where the big Christmas tree was lighting up the room with its magical glow. In front of the tree sat a little puppy with a giant red bow around its neck. It looked up at me and that’s when I knew that he was for me, and he was going to become my best friend.

For the whole year I would sit on my grandma's lab every night before I went to sleep, and we would pray that I would receive a dog named King for Christmas this year. We would talk about all the things that King and I would do, and we would sing a song talking about how great of a dog he would be. I begged and begged my mom for a dog all year long, and she always told me no. So when Christmas had come along I really wasn't expecting to get King. I can remember everyone trying to get me to change what I wanted to name him, but I wouldn't. At the time the Disney movie Lion King was my favorite movie, so I wanted to name my puppy after it.

Just as I had pictured King and I had become best friends, and we never left each other’s side. I remember that I would run around the house and he would chase me and grab the end of my night gown and end up biting holes in them. Another thing I remember is when we would go on walks I would say, “Ready, set GO!” and he would start running and we would race to our destination. On the nights that I was sad and upset about something I can remember me laying down on his tummy and just crying my heart out, and somehow it seemed that he knew at that moment that I needed him more than he could ever need me. Around the age of five my parents were going through a divorce and it seemed to me that the only person that was there for me through the whole thing was him. He always knew how to keep me laughing and entertained. Everyone in our apartment complex loved him, all the kids would ask me if they could play fetch with him, or walk him. It really seemed that King wasn’t just my best friend he was becoming everyone’s.  King never ran away, he never bit anyone, and he always listened to me; he honestly was the best dog that anyone could ever ask for. Even though he is gone now, and in a better place I will always remember the happy and magical times that he provided me as a kid. No matter how many dogs I own in my life, King will always be the one and only dog that was truly my best friend and I thank God every day for giving him to me on that early Christmas morning in 1995.